Verbal Dysfluencies

Contributed by Patrick Breslin, Santa Fe College, Gainesville, Florida

 

When discussing with my students the importance of avoiding verbal dysfluencies (vocalized pauses or filler noises), I illustrate their inappropriate use by reciting a well known poem artificially laced with them:

 

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and, like, all through the house,

Like, not a creature was stirring, like, not even a mouse;

Like, the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Like, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

 

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, you know, 

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads, you know,  

And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, you know, 

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap, you know?

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, or whatever,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter, or whatever.

Away to the window I flew like a flash, or whatever,  

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash, or whatever.

 

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, dude,

Gave the luster of midday to objects below, dude,

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, dude,

But a miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer, dude,

With a little old driver so lively and quick, dude, 

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick—man!

 

I mean, more rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

I mean, he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

I mean, “Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!” 

I mean, “On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!”  

I mean, “To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!”  

I mean, “Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”  

 

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly and stuff,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky and stuff,

Thus, up to the housetop his coursers they flew and stuff,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too, and stuff,

 

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, um,

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof, um.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around, um,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound, um.

 

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, uh,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot, uh,

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, uh,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack, uh…..

 

 

At this point I discontinue the recitation, and tell the students that filler noises make one sound unintelligent and unprepared.  I provide a couple of anecdotal examples.  The first is summarized here, courtesy of Toastmasters Magazine online:

 

 

“In December 2008, Caroline Kennedy – daughter of the late United States President John F. Kennedy – gave an interview that helped decide the future of her U.S. Senate campaign. One of the frontrunners for the senate seat in New York, Kennedy had been criticized for avoiding media questions, so she finally sat down for a televised interview. The result was a disaster.

Her performance was almost universally disparaged, in part because her speech was cluttered with filler words – “ums,” “ahs” and “you knows.” One listener counted 27 “ums” and 38 “you knows” in the space of five minutes. A few weeks after giving the interview, Kennedy ended her Senate campaign.”

 

 

I also point out that in our increasingly international culture, you never can tell if the filler noise you use might not have a particular meaning in someone else’s native language.  In one of my classes years ago there had been a young woman from Turkey. She’d told the class that before she came to the United States, she had been a working professional in her field, and that part of her job involved flying Americans into Turkey to speak at conferences.  She and her colleagues who spoke Turkish and English were horrified to hear the Americans using the filler noise “um.”  In Turkish, “um” is a very crude slang term for part of the female anatomy.  This is a cleaned up version of what those audiences heard:

 

“Ladies and gentlemen…vagina…, I would like to speak to you today…vagina…to share my own personal…vagina…opinion on the state of our industry at the present time….crotch.”

 

The student stated that because of this situation, she had to tell each American speaker who arrived at the airport, “Here is a sound that you must not make, and here is why you must not make it!”

 

This example, though graphic, carries imagery which stays in the students’ memories.  At times I encounter students who were in my classes years ago, and who tell me that the above story cured them of using filler noises.